A Night of Babies, Crying, and Stolen Kisses
by stargazing.from.earth
Summary: Hermione and Fred are cast with the task of taking care of a baby Teddy for the night.


**This story was written for the Twin Exchange August Title Swap Challenge. The title was submitted by Love From A Muggle. Enjoy and thank you for reading!**

Teddy's hair was an almost too bright magenta, glinting in the light of the living room. He must have seen the ridiculously colored robes hanging by the door and imitated them, because the shade of purplish red was spot on. He smiled playfully at the two adults staring at him and, like the baby he was, ignored the man's nearly terrified expression.

"What do we do?" The man whispered, his wide eyes and bright carrot-orange hair making him look a tad bit maniacal.

The woman rolled her chocolate eyes at him, and replied, "He's just a baby, Fred. He's not going to bite-well, not hard anyway." She proceeded to scoop the child up in her arms, and snuggle him close to her chest. "See? Perfectly harmless."

As if in response, the child gave a happy gurgle, followed by a fit of bell-like laughter. These giggles, it seemed, were infectious, because Fred joined in not a second later. The moment ended just a tad too soon, as the smiling baby twisted his fingers into the woman's curly brown hair and gave a testing tug.

Her features contorted into an expression of pain, and she let out an "Ow, Teddy!" as she quickly untangled the boy's hands.

"Harmless, huh?" Fred's expression was smug. "You might want to tie your hair back, Hermione."

Hermione just shook her head, and carried the baby to the small crib in the corner of the room. Laying him down gently, she turned to her cohort. "I've no clue why Harry wanted _us_ of all people to watch him-_together_!" The last word was said in a tone that could only be described as irreverent-like a nasty curse word bubbling up on the tip of her tongue. It was a bit disheartening for Fred.

The freckled man-boy, perhaps, was a more apt description-just shrugged and made to sit down on the green plaid couch. The worn piece of furniture sank nearly a foot when he sat down, and Hermione made a face. "Fred, you know you have magic, right? You could fix that."

"And get rid of it's…charm?" He wrinkled his nose in distaste, and continued, with a slight grin, "Of course not! Do you think I wanted to get rid of George when he lost his ear just because part of him wasn't up to par? No! It gave him character!"

The woman stared at him blankly for a moment, before saying, "Did you just compare your twin to a shabby, overused sofa?"

"Wouldn't be the first time someone's done it," he just replied with a laugh, and turned on the muggle television placed in the middle of the room. "Also, I'd like to personally thank you for introducing us to this device. It's very clever."

Not only had Hermione conjured up a television for the child-like Weasley twins; she had charmed it to receive all the muggle channels and programs. Their favorite seemed to be "Doctor Who", though they scoffed at the idea of time travel-of all the things to disbelieve.

Hermione gave him an amused smile, and nodded, saying, "You're welcome." She hesitated before sitting down daintily next to the twin. With his larger-than-life personality, it was sometimes hard to be around him…intimidating somehow. But with just the two of them perched on his sofa watching television-it was comfortable, easy even.

That still didn't quite explain Harry's insistence that the two of them babysit the little boy. For one, their personalities were verging on polar opposites, and they'd never exactly spent much time together-though their meetings had become more frequent since the war. And two, neither of them was exactly well-equipped for taking care of a child. Fred, with his antics, was practically a child himself and…Hermione, though reasonable and responsible in heaps, didn't have any experience with this sort of thing.

"So when do we feed him?" Fred asked after a moment, with a sideways glance at Hermione, not wanting to take his eyes off of the current episode on the screen. "I have some pizza and pancakes, I think, in the kitchen."

Hermione was already shaking her head before he finished, and scoffed at his words, "Do you even know what babies eat?" She took the blank look he was giving her as a no. "They need baby food, mashed up and soft."

Fred tilted his shoulders up and down, saying, "I don't have any of that." He gave her a small, almost apologetic smile.

"Must I remind you again-you have magic!" Hermione pulled her wand out of the back pocket of her jeans, and waved it just before a stack of tiny jars appeared on the coffee table Fred's feet were propped up on.

He reached out and grabbed one of them, squinting his eyes at the label and pulling a face. "Sweet potatoes and corn? Mac and cheese and vegetables? And _what_ is a _Gerber_?"

"It's the brand," Hermione told him, laughing a little. "C'mon, grab Teddy and we can set him up at the table. Harry dropped off a highchair for him."

Fred reluctantly picked up the baby, careful to keep the child's grasping hands out of reach of his hair. Setting him into the chair and strapping him in, Fred stepped back, looking at a loss of what to do next. Hermione set to work; conjuring up a tiny plastic spoon, scooting her chair closer to the baby, and taking the lid off one of the foods.

Things were going well until Hermione switched to the squash. Once a small spoonful of the orange mush had been put in his mouth, Teddy's lips started quivering and his forehead started crinkling. It wasn't long before the tears were flowing in full force, and both adults panicked. In his upset, Teddy took a bit of the food and flung it at Fred, the gunk splattering across his face. Hermione spared a second to giggle at the grown man, and then turned her attention toward Teddy.

"Aw, Teddy, it's okay. Shh," she tried comforting him. When the cries only got louder, she lifted the child out of his seat and into her arms, rubbing circles in his back as she went. "Shh, Teddy. Auntie Hermione and Uncle Fred are going to take care of you."

A slightly pungent smell began wafting from the little baby, and Hermione immediately knew what the problem was. She used some non-verbal magic-making it look easy, of course-to conjure up a changing table and diapers and set to work once more. With Teddy all clean and dry, the witch hoisted the baby back up onto her shoulder and started pacing back and forth while she murmured calmly to him.

When the sobbing only quieted somewhat, Hermione began softly singing to the poor babe. Her voice lilted as the youngster finally stopped crying, slowing down to the occasional sniffle.

Fred looked on fondly, having wiped the squash out of his eyes, thinking that perhaps Hermione wasn't as bad at this kind of thing as she thought she was. In fact, without her, Teddy would've never calmed down. Like in everything else, Hermione was a natural, and Fred would always be one to recognize that. After a few minutes, the baby was fast asleep, snoring softly against the witch's shoulder as she continued her lullaby.

"I can take him if you want," the Weasley twin whispered, careful not to wake the sleeping child, who's hair was slowly turning to a pleasant shade of dark blue.

Hermione smiled at the orange-haired man, and passed the baby off, squinting her eyes as she watched the beautiful little boy sleeping. "Just lay him in the crib," she told him.

Once Fred had done that, they sat back down on the couch, careful to stay quiet. "What should we do now?"

The younger witch shrugged her shoulders, saying, "I guess we just keep busy while we watch him. Television, perhaps."

Fred acquiesced, making sure to keep the volume abnormally low, and flicked through the channels, not seeing any of his usual programs.

"Oh, oh, keep it on that!" Hermione screamed in a whisper. "My parents used to watch this with me, I had an uncle who lived in America that would bring tapes back for us." She watched affectionately as the black and white show played. "It's called the Three Stooges."

Knowing it would be just Fred's kind of humor, Hermione kept sneaking peeks at the man as they watched. After one particularly funny scene, they were both left breathless from laughter, and nearly failed at trying to keep quiet. And, of course, everything is funnier when you aren't supposed to be laughing, so the pair couldn't keep straight faces. Every time they looked at each other, they would break out in fits of giggles, not being about to help it.

They ended up cross-legged on the couch, facing each other.

"Fred-Teddy-sleeping," Hermione struggled out between laughing. But she didn't really want to stop, she'd admit-it had been too long since she'd laughed like this, if she ever had, and things had been so grim and desolate since the war.

Once they had both quieted down, they sat in a strange silence, peering at each other. A small smile on his face, Fred leaned over to pat Hermione on the knee. She caught his hand and gave it a slight squeeze, returning his smile. Hermione made to turn back toward the television, but Fred stopped her by reaching forward and placing a small, unexpected kiss on her lips.

Her eyes widened as the older wizard pulled away from her, looking sheepish. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, Hermione launched herself at him, their lips meeting in full force-and she could feel his smile against hers. Just when Fred deepened the kiss, a small cry sounded from the other side of the room.

Fred pulled back, groaning, and watched as Hermione gave him a small, timid smile before jumping up to take care of the baby Teddy.

She had no way of knowing that his crush had been growing for quite some time-that it wasn't a spur of the moment decision, having started in his years at school and became something stronger when she had been the one to save him in the Battle of Hogwarts. Having a wall lifted off your body would make anyone fall in love.

Thank Merlin the child's godfather had listened to him when he'd requested that he and Hermione babysit.


End file.
